An Innocent Game of Cards
by Melissa2
Summary: Four of the crew members play a game of poker...Warning: This has no plot and it makes absolutely no sense


Title: An Innocent Game of Cards  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Four of the crew members play a game of poker  
Disclaimer: Andromeda and characters belong to Tribune, not me  
Author's note: I don't know what possessed me to write this, other than a bad case of writer's block on my other Andromeda fic, and I know it is nothing short of insane, out of character, and poorly written. Trust me, my other fan fiction is much better than this if this is the first of my writing you've read. I still don't know why I'm actually posting this here. Reviewing is, as always, welcomed, but I know you're going to tell me it's not good if you do.  
  
  
There they all four sat around the table. No one really knew how or why this had started. Maybe it had been Harper who had more than too much to drink when he ran into Beka. Maybe it was Trance with her inquisitiveness about everything, this not being an exception. Maybe seeing Rommie in the corridor was the catalyst for a bomb bound to explode anyway. However it happened, they all sat there ready to begin the obscure old Earth card game strip poker.  
  
"So, explain the rules again, Harper," Trance said, looking over at her drunk friend.  
  
"You get five cards. And you're trying to get three of a kind, a flush, a straight or some other good hand. You get to put back however many of your cards you want and take that many more new ones. Then, we compare hands and the loser takes off a piece of clothing."  
  
"What happens if someone loses all their clothing?"  
  
"I haven't decided yet." Harper grinned.  
  
"What happens if you lose all your clothes, Harper?" Rommie asked. "We never established that."  
  
"The winner can do anything she wants with me." He took another drink from his glass.  
  
"I'll deal," Beka said.  
  
The cards were dealt, and everyone looked at their hand. Trance cocked her head slightly as she looked at her cards. Beka kept a straight face, glancing around at the other player's reactions. Rommie watched Harper as he finished off yet another glass of vodka and wondered how much more he could possibly drink while remaining conscious.  
  
"I'll take three cards," Rommie said and slid two cards face down towards Beka.  
  
"I'll take two." Harper shoved three cards across the table and nearly knocking over his glass in the process.  
  
"I...I think I'll keep my cards." Trance seemed a bit unsure of herself.  
  
"Dealer takes two." Beka passed the cards to each player who requested them. "What do you have Rommie?"  
  
"I have two pair." She laid down a pair of aces, a pair of fours and a two.  
  
"What about you, Harper?" Beka asked.  
  
"I've got three sevens." He put his cards face up in front of him, two sevens, a five, a nine and a queen.  
  
"That's not a seven, Harper. It's a nine," Trance said.  
  
"Hell it is! It's a seven. One, two, three, five, four, seven," he slurred in protest.  
  
"Moving on, Trance, what do you have?"  
  
"You can go ahead and show your cards, Beka."  
  
"I have a flush." She placed the spades three through seven onto the table.  
  
"Is this good?" Trance placed a royal flush down on the table.  
  
"How did she do that?" Harper asked.  
  
"Just beginner's luck," Beka said as she shuffled the cards. "You lost, Harper. Take something off."  
  
He pulled off one of his shoes and tossed it blindly behind him.  
  
The game went on for an hour. After five more drinks, Harper had lost his shoes, socks and shirt. He had also become even less skilled at reading the cards. Beka had lost her shoes and one sock. She had also grown annoyed at Harper's intoxication and begun drinking the vodka as well. Rommie had lost her shoes, socks and main shirt, leaving her in a tight black baby t-shirt. And Trance had not lost a single item of clothing. They were all beginning to doubt that it was merely beginner's luck.  
  
"I want to show my cards last!" Harper whined.  
  
"It's not your turn, Harper," Trance said.  
  
"Everyone just lay your cards down on the count of three." Beka sighed. "One, two, three."  
  
Everyone but Harper put down their cards. He triumphantly dropped the cards on the table on at a time. "I won."  
  
"No, Harper, you lost again." Beka sighed. "Take off your pants."  
  
"But," he began.  
  
"You're not backing out of this, Harper."  
  
He threw his pants at Beka to reveal boxer shorts with dancing robots and machines on them. All of the girls broke into a fit of giggling, especially Beka.   
  
"I think those are the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. Where did you get them?" Beka asked.  
  
"I bought them on...some planet."  
  
"Let's deal again. You're going down, Harper!" Beka glared at him while dealing the cards.  
  
"I'll take three," Rommie said.  
  
"I'll take one," Trance said.  
  
"What about you, Harper?" Beka asked.  
  
"I'm keeping my cards," he replied arrogantly.  
  
"I'm taking two. Now, put down your cards."  
  
Harper laid down a hand with nothing in it, even the highest card was a nine. "Beat that."  
  
"Harper, you're an idiot when you're drunk," Beka said. "And you just lost again. Take the boxers off."  
  
He had lost his inhibitions through the alcohol and just threw off his boxers like he had his shoe. "You happy now?"  
  
"Very. You are now at our disposal, Harper. You said that you would let us do anything we wanted to you if you lost all your clothes," Beka said.  
  
"I did? When did I say that?"  
  
"Trust me, you did." The girls huddled together, whispering and giggling as they talked. "We've decided your fate, Harper."  
  
****************************************************************  
  
Dylan walked onto the Command Deck after spending a few hours playing basketball. He was nothing short of shocked by what he saw in the corner near the view screen.  
  
"What in the hell?" He walked over to it to make sure he wasn't seeing things. "Harper, why are you wearing laurel leaves in your hair and posing like some sort of Greek god? And where are your clothes?!?"  
  
"I'm not allowed to move for two more hours."  
  
"Beka, what is the meaning of this?" Dylan turned around.  
  
"That's what he gets for losing poker."  
  
"Am I the only one on this ship with any sense?" Dylan muttered.  



End file.
